- Pam
"I started my healing process from my vaginal cesarean at the Grieving and Healing Workshop. Finally, three years after he was born, I had a safe place that I could talk, cry, write about the trauma that happened during the birth of my son. The exercises were powerful. Sharing with other women was powerful. And Nancy guided us through the weekend of tears in love. Thank you Nancy!"
-Joyce
"I attended Nancy's grieving and healing workshop after devastating surgical birth experiences. I flew to Boston not knowing what to expect; I simply knew that there were wounds from my cesareans that went far deeper than the superficial scars on my belly.
It is difficult to put into words exactly what that weekend meant for me in terms of grieving, healing, and forgiveness. It was truly the first time that I ever really felt validated and "allowed" myself to feel angry, sad, frustrated, outraged, etc about my cesareans and told I was normal to feel all those things. I was able to regain my sense of confidence in my body's abilities, I was able to begin to reconnect with the severed parts of myself, and I was able to become whole once again. That weekend was the starting point in my journey to my beautiful HBA3C. It was also a profound experience for steve because up to that point, he truly didn't understand it not being all fine as long as we had healthy babies. Something really got stirred in him that weekend and in my mind, that's where my journey to VBAC truly began, if I could give it a starting point. Thank you Nancy!!!"
-Teresa
"After having an unexpected, unplanned cesarean in 1995, I was never going to have another baby, ever, as I knew that was the only way to guarantee *never* again being cut open like that. Even while the surgery "saved" my baby, my baby was taken to NICU as a result of cesarean related drugs, and after this initial separation, and incision pain, we had had a tough time getting to know each other and establishing a nursing relationship. Hence my desire *never* to be cut open, again.
I attended numerous birth workshops and conferences, became a doula myself, and realized two things: birth without cesarean *was* possible, for many women, and, that I wanted another baby, even if it ended up meaning another surgical birth.
After many interviews, I was lucky enough to find Nancy Wainer, as my birth attendant. Following months of loving prenatal care, including hours of talking, crying and yes laughing, too, I had a blissfully short second labor yielded a home VBAC birth, with a baby fully 10% bigger than the baby for whom I was cut open, due to him being "too big". Intact perineum, too. Thank you, Nancy!"
-Laura
"The very best thing about having Nancy as my midwife was the complete and utter trust I had in her commitment to me and my baby. The word that so often occurred to me is warrior. Nancy is a warrior for women. I know she wanted a wonderful birth for me as much as I did. It is so rare these days to find someone as authentic, caring, and supportive. I hate to say I couldn't have done it without her, but I will say, I don't think I could have enjoyed my VBAC without her. Birthing with Nancy was such a joyful relief.
I never felt like I couldn't do it. I did labor for hours with pitocin contractions after all! What I felt after my first-born was how hard it was to trust anyone to support me in the process. All along I remember saying to my husband, if I can only get to the starting labor stage, I know my body can do it. What I needed was someone who could trust in me and in birth enough.
Nancy showed me that there are good and kind birth support people out there. I did feel healed by having a vbac but it wasn't exactly about my confidence. It was that I was allowed to experience something I had felt so robbed of before."
-Courtney
"My first child was born by cesarean section that became necessary after being induced. Although my son was beautiful and healthy, I felt cheated and inadequate. I was grieving. In my mind, I had not given birth and, to me, giving birth is part of being a woman. In addition, it is hard to mother after major surgery and for many weeks after the surgery, I was in a lot of pain while trying to care for my son. When my son was two, I heard about Nancy’s workshops and quickly called to reserve a spot. I traveled to the Boston area from Albany, NY. My husband came with me. (My son also traveled with us and so did my in-laws who watched him while we were at the workshop.) At the workshop we met people from all over the country and Canada. All that I was feeling was validated and I learned so much. My husband came away with a different perspective of birth and an understanding of the importance of birth to women. He admits that he would have never gotten that perspecive and understanding, if he hadn’t participated in Nancy’s workshop. We used the work we did with Nancy at her workshop to have three more children, all girls, who were all born vaginally and all born at home with women attending me. (After my cesarean, my doctor told me I would die if I ever gave birth vaginally.) Nancy’s workshop empowered me and changed my life forever. I will always be grateful for Nancy and the work we did together."
